Something has been on my mind quite a bit lately...my mom! Unfortunately, she past away when I was ten - 20 yrs. ago. So I have lived more of my life without her but that void just can't be filled. A mother is a treasure and one I wish I had back. It breaks my heart when I see other mothers taken for granted - in time, in finances, emotionally...etc. I long for just a moment with my mom in the physical sense because I know what it is like to not have that treasure.
This is probably going to come across as very strange...but I often have felt the reason why Emalyn has slept so well since she was 3 weeks old was because my mom is taking care of her at night...rocking her and singing songs to her. The reason I feel this way is because whenever I go to Emalyns room there is such a peace and a feeling that someone has been praying in her room the whole time I've been away. My mom helped shape my faith - she was such a strong person and loved me unconditionally but also she wasn't afraid of tough love so that myself along with my brother and sister would grow into the people we are today - followers of Christ with a deep sense of the importance of family!
Anyway...the reason I bring this up today. Last night I had one of those experiences...again! I sincerely feel I heard singing on our monitor in our bedroom at 4 a.m. When I went to check on Emalyn she was so content! This moment kept me from falling back to sleep though and reflecting on the extroardinary mother I had and try to model.
I often think about what our relationship was like when I was 8 mo. old. Considering my mom and I have quite a few similiarities in appearance and views on life I imagine it to be very similiar as Emalyn and me. I do so desperately wish she were here though in the physical sense...she would have been the best Grandma and would have put each of her grandchildren on a pedestal and treated them equallly despite the external conditions! I know she would take every opportunity to get down on the floor and play with her, hold her, and be knocking down the door every free moment. I know they would have had a great bond! It is my goal to teach Emalyn how great her GRANDMA KIPPY is/was and I pray she too will look to that as a model on how a women treats her family.
We Love You Grandma Kathleen Karen...keep the songs coming!