Something has been on my mind quite a bit lately...my mom! Unfortunately, she past away when I was ten - 20 yrs. ago. So I have lived more of my life without her but that void just can't be filled. A mother is a treasure and one I wish I had back. It breaks my heart when I see other mothers taken for granted - in time, in finances, emotionally...etc. I long for just a moment with my mom in the physical sense because I know what it is like to not have that treasure.
This is probably going to come across as very strange...but I often have felt the reason why Emalyn has slept so well since she was 3 weeks old was because my mom is taking care of her at night...rocking her and singing songs to her. The reason I feel this way is because whenever I go to Emalyns room there is such a peace and a feeling that someone has been praying in her room the whole time I've been away. My mom helped shape my faith - she was such a strong person and loved me unconditionally but also she wasn't afraid of tough love so that myself along with my brother and sister would grow into the people we are today - followers of Christ with a deep sense of the importance of family!
Anyway...the reason I bring this up today. Last night I had one of those experiences...again! I sincerely feel I heard singing on our monitor in our bedroom at 4 a.m. When I went to check on Emalyn she was so content! This moment kept me from falling back to sleep though and reflecting on the extroardinary mother I had and try to model.
I often think about what our relationship was like when I was 8 mo. old. Considering my mom and I have quite a few similiarities in appearance and views on life I imagine it to be very similiar as Emalyn and me. I do so desperately wish she were here though in the physical sense...she would have been the best Grandma and would have put each of her grandchildren on a pedestal and treated them equallly despite the external conditions! I know she would take every opportunity to get down on the floor and play with her, hold her, and be knocking down the door every free moment. I know they would have had a great bond! It is my goal to teach Emalyn how great her GRANDMA KIPPY is/was and I pray she too will look to that as a model on how a women treats her family.
We Love You Grandma Kathleen Karen...keep the songs coming!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Been Too LONG...
It seems as though this summer is flying by! I am in awe that it is mid July and that our beautiful baby is already 8 months old.
I am starting to struggle with the fact that Emalyn is growing up so fast. One of the biggest tough spots is she is starting to ween herself from nursing. She is starting to eat more and more so she primarily nurses in the morning and in the evening (and maybe early early morning). I can't express how much I value that time with her. The idea of giving her formula (haven't gone there yet) during the day time hours is eating away at me. I should be thankful but it is so hard to see her grow but also as she grows she is capturing me with her beauty, intelligance, and sense of humor that develops more and more each day. She is such a precious person! I am extremely blessed to have my beautiful child! I never would have guessed I would be able to possess that much love for someone - just thinking about her brings tears to my eyes. I REALLY LOVE HER!
Another tough spot is 2 hours after she goes to bed for the night. I miss her something terrible. I will literally lay in bed looking at pictures and reflecting on the new things she discovered or taught me. I love sharing stories with Josh about our little girl. Last night it was - Do you think she'll think my wedding dress is out of fashion when it is her time to marry?"
She has the best personality...last night before she went to bed (and almost every night before her little bed time ritual) she plays in the living room for an hour or so. I was holding her by her arms and said "Kaboom" and she would fall on her little tushy each time. SO STINKIN' CUTE! The list could go on and on!
We are just so blessed to have our little girl - I don't know if I had mentioned this before but we had contemplated adoption since it was taking a little while to get pregnant. Adoption is something I still would love to do! I am so thankful God blessed us with her though - I think that wait period made this all that much more special. It is so great to see little sparks of both our personalities shed light in hers!
As for new milestones:
June 27th - first tooth lower right middle (very tough)
June 29th - second tooth lower left middle (very tough)
July 15th - third tooth upper right middle (not as bad as the other two/uncomfortable for a day)
July 17 - figured out a more advanced toy - levers, buttons, pop up things - I WAS SO PROUD!
WE ARE BLESSED!
I am starting to struggle with the fact that Emalyn is growing up so fast. One of the biggest tough spots is she is starting to ween herself from nursing. She is starting to eat more and more so she primarily nurses in the morning and in the evening (and maybe early early morning). I can't express how much I value that time with her. The idea of giving her formula (haven't gone there yet) during the day time hours is eating away at me. I should be thankful but it is so hard to see her grow but also as she grows she is capturing me with her beauty, intelligance, and sense of humor that develops more and more each day. She is such a precious person! I am extremely blessed to have my beautiful child! I never would have guessed I would be able to possess that much love for someone - just thinking about her brings tears to my eyes. I REALLY LOVE HER!
Another tough spot is 2 hours after she goes to bed for the night. I miss her something terrible. I will literally lay in bed looking at pictures and reflecting on the new things she discovered or taught me. I love sharing stories with Josh about our little girl. Last night it was - Do you think she'll think my wedding dress is out of fashion when it is her time to marry?"
She has the best personality...last night before she went to bed (and almost every night before her little bed time ritual) she plays in the living room for an hour or so. I was holding her by her arms and said "Kaboom" and she would fall on her little tushy each time. SO STINKIN' CUTE! The list could go on and on!
We are just so blessed to have our little girl - I don't know if I had mentioned this before but we had contemplated adoption since it was taking a little while to get pregnant. Adoption is something I still would love to do! I am so thankful God blessed us with her though - I think that wait period made this all that much more special. It is so great to see little sparks of both our personalities shed light in hers!
As for new milestones:
June 27th - first tooth lower right middle (very tough)
June 29th - second tooth lower left middle (very tough)
July 15th - third tooth upper right middle (not as bad as the other two/uncomfortable for a day)
July 17 - figured out a more advanced toy - levers, buttons, pop up things - I WAS SO PROUD!
WE ARE BLESSED!
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